mostly haikus by nick krefting

three day weekend – “last man standing”

In Three Day Weekend on May 31, 2011 at 5:44 pm

Morris tipped back the near-empty can and felt the lukewarm, near-flat, tasteless Coors Light trickle down his throat. Time for a refill. He put the can down on the ground, carefully swatted a mosquito on his forearm, then slowly pushed himself out of the lawnchair. He looked around blearily and muttered, “Anyone need another beer?” But there was no one around to hear him, so he made his way toward the screen door.

He stopped along the way to piss against the side of the house. Looking down, he saw his watch on his wrist and managed to read the time and urinate simultaneously. Just after 3AM. No matter. He had nowhere to be tomorrow.

He finished the extremely satisfying piss, zipped up, and went inside. There was a light on somewhere in there, and he saw a couple shapes sprawled on the couches and floor of the living room. “So Morris is the last man standing,” he giggled to himself. “Mark one more for the king.” His attempt at a triumphant arm pump sent him careening into the nearest wall, and did nothing to diminish his pride.

Steadying himself, he walked slowly and deliberately over to the kitchen and opened the fridge. “Winner’s treat,” he thought as he grabbed the single bottle of Golden Monkey that was his prize.  He opened the bottle with the opener on his keychain and made his way back to the lawnchair to enjoy the last beer of the night.

  1. Great start! I’m interested in this Morris guy and why he would drink a really shitty beer and then a good beer 🙂

  2. My thoughts exactly Jess! Golden monkey is way to strong to finish the night with- its 9%! That’s going to give you a hangover Morris- start hydrating buddy!

    • That dude is gonna be hungover as hell tomorrow anyway and you know it. Let him enjoy his tasty beverage.

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